it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
