I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
