dude i'm inner monologue high
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
