I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
