the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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