We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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