her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
