My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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