UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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