So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
