Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
