Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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