too bad you live with your parents still
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
