that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
where are my eyebrows?
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