He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
