Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
