What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
