I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
