We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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