i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
