We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
