She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
