you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
