she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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