How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
