I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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