Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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