Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
