worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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