Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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