I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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