He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
