okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
