That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
