So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
