I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
