put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
