Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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