R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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