I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
