We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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