I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
