just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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