just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
