I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
