I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it glows. i had to have it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
