ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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