I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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