ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
