He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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