Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
