I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
