have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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