my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
