Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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